In which I sort random characters into Hogwarts Houses

obsidianstrawberrymilk:

Gryffindor:

Diego Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Eudora Patch (Umbrella Academy)
Edward Elric (FMA:B)
Riza Hawkeye (FMA:B)
Jean Havoc (FMA:B)
Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto)
Kiba Inuzuka (Naruto)
Jason Grace (Heroes of Olympus)
Hazel Levesque (Heroes of Olympus)
Will Solace (Heroes of Olympus)
Zia Rashid (Kane Chronicles)
Sadie Kane (Kane Chronicles)
Sophie Foster (KOTLC)
Keefe Sencen (KOTLC)
Marella Redek (KOTLC)
Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Eliot Spencer (Leverage)
Mallory Keen (Magnus Chase)
Rock Lee (Naruto)
Halfborn Gunderson (Magnus Chase)
Suki (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Inej Ghafa (Six of Crows)
Alina Starkov (Grisha Trilogy)
Matthias Helvar (Six of Crows)
Itona Horibe (Assassination Classroom)
Tomohito Sugino (Assassination Classroom)
Ryuoma Terasaka (Assassination Classroom)

Ravenclaw:

Vanya Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Ben Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Elliot (Umbrella Academy)
Hardinson (Leverage)
Orochimaru (Naruto)
Sakura Haruno (Naruto)
Shikamaru Nara (Naruto)
Shino Aburame (Naruto)
Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson and the Olympians)
Nino Lahiffe (Miraculous)
Dex Dizznee (KOTLC)
Linh Song (KOTLC)
Leo Valdez (Heroes of Olympus)
Carter Kane (Kane Chronicles)
Sokka (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Sgnt. Fuery (FMA:B)
Hearthstone (Magnus Chase)
Winry (FMA:B)
Luka Couffaine (Miraculous)
Sherlock Holmes (all iterations)
Manami Okuda (Assassination Classroom)
Koro-sensei (Assassination Classroom)
Max Kante (Miraculous)

Hufflepuff:

Parker (Leverage)
Chouji Akimichi (Naruto)
Hinata Hyuuga (Naruto)
Tenten (Naruto)
Tam Song (KOTLC)
Maruca Chebota (KOTLC)
Biana Vacker (KOTLC)
Adrien Agreste (Miraculous)
Frank Zhang (Heroes of Olympus)
Walt Stone (Kane Chronicles)
Samirah al-Abbas (Magnus Chase)
Nico Di Angelo (Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus)
Selina Beauregard (Percy Jackson and the Olympians)
Aang (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Ty Lee (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Alphonse Elric (FMA:B)
Lan Fan (FMA:B)
Maes Hughes (FMA:B)
Blitz (Magnus Chase)
Thomas Jefferson Jr (Magnus Chase)
Magnus Chase (Magnus Chase)
Isogai Yuma (Assassination Classroom)
Karasuma (Assassination Classroom)
Jesper Fahrey (Six of Crows)
Mal Oryetsev (Grisha Trilogy)
Peter Parker (all iterations)
Klaus Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Luther Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)

Slytherin:

Sasuke Uchiha (Naruto)
Ino Yamanaka (Naruto)
Neji Hyuuga (Naruto)
Fitz Vacker (KOTLC)
Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus)
Thalia Grace (Percy Jackson and the Olympians/Heroes of Olympus)
Luke Callestan (Percy Jackson and the Olympians)
Zuko (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender)
Roy Mustang (FMA:B)
Zolf J Kimblee (FMA:B)
Ling Yao (FMA:B)
Mei Chang (FMA:B)
Alex Fierro (Magnus Chase)
Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous)
Alya Cesaire (Miraculous)
Kagami Tsurugi (Miraculous)
Nate (Leverage)
Sophie Deveraux (Leverage)
Nagisa Shiota (Assassination Classroom)
Karma Akabane (Assassination Classroom)
Rio Nakamura (Assassination Classroom)
Kayano Kaede (Assassination Classroom)
Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows)
Wylen Van Eck (Six of Crows)
Nina Zenik (Six of Crows)
Irina/Bitch-sensei (Assassination Classroom)
Five Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Allison Hargreeves (Umbrella Academy)
Lila Pitts (Umbrella Academy)

space-trash-princess:
“ neil-gaiman:
“ feyariel:
“ petrichormeraki:
“ hematite2:
“ whatpunkin:
“ porcelainandgold:
“ tripster-and-the-mad-hatter:
“ glossynympheteyes:
“ this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
”
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you...
Zoom Info
space-trash-princess:
“ neil-gaiman:
“ feyariel:
“ petrichormeraki:
“ hematite2:
“ whatpunkin:
“ porcelainandgold:
“ tripster-and-the-mad-hatter:
“ glossynympheteyes:
“ this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
”
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you...
Zoom Info
space-trash-princess:
“ neil-gaiman:
“ feyariel:
“ petrichormeraki:
“ hematite2:
“ whatpunkin:
“ porcelainandgold:
“ tripster-and-the-mad-hatter:
“ glossynympheteyes:
“ this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
”
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you...
Zoom Info
space-trash-princess:
“ neil-gaiman:
“ feyariel:
“ petrichormeraki:
“ hematite2:
“ whatpunkin:
“ porcelainandgold:
“ tripster-and-the-mad-hatter:
“ glossynympheteyes:
“ this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
”
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you...
Zoom Info
space-trash-princess:
“ neil-gaiman:
“ feyariel:
“ petrichormeraki:
“ hematite2:
“ whatpunkin:
“ porcelainandgold:
“ tripster-and-the-mad-hatter:
“ glossynympheteyes:
“ this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
”
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you...
Zoom Info
space-trash-princess:
“ neil-gaiman:
“ feyariel:
“ petrichormeraki:
“ hematite2:
“ whatpunkin:
“ porcelainandgold:
“ tripster-and-the-mad-hatter:
“ glossynympheteyes:
“ this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
”
It’s by Tim Burton, what did you...
Zoom Info

space-trash-princess:

neil-gaiman:

feyariel:

petrichormeraki:

hematite2:

whatpunkin:

porcelainandgold:

tripster-and-the-mad-hatter:

glossynympheteyes:

this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck

It’s by Tim Burton, what did you honestly expect?

Actually, it’s Henry Selick, who was the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas. The book was written by Neil Gaiman, though, and is far…far….worse.

Sorry, I’m about to geek the hell out.

The movie is captivating, but the book is twenty kinds of terrifying, even now, ten years after I first read it. As disturbing as the movie may have been to some, the things Selick added really serve to cushion just how horrific the story really is.

First of all, the character of Wybie does not exist in the book. Coraline is facing all of this nearly alone, with her only help coming from the sly comments of the cat, a warning from the circus mice, and the stone given to her by her neighbor, presented with no comment but that it “makes the unseen seen.”

Second, the Other Parents are never quite as warm (and, dare I say, normal) as they are in the gifs above. They’re described as having paper-white skin and the Other Mother’s hair is said to move on its own, and her long, red, claw-like nails don’t ease any uncertainty that she is absolutely, positively up to no good. The first time Coraline meets them, they (and the rest of the Others) seem to be playing roles (for whatever reason, Coraline does not seem to pick up on this), like they all know what to say and what to do and are simply waiting for Coraline to make her move in their terrifying play world. This is shown to be partly true when the Other Parents tell her they know she’ll be back soon after she refuses the buttons - this time, to stay.

Third, the Other Mother commits atrocities that really should not have been in a book for anyone not fully grown up. She physically deforms the world around Coraline to slow her progress in their game beyond any mild traps the movie portrays, and, instead of turning the Other Father into the wandering pumpkin-thing seen in the film, she simply ceases to use him and throws his body away in the cellar, leaving him to rot with whatever bit of sentience he has left. She begins to lose her touch, as Coraline gains the upper hand. Her world doesn’t just become a nightmare - it falls apart completely. No creepy but oddly cool bug furniture here, just the house that now appears to be a child’s drawing. Whatever the Other Mother is (a beldame, but something tells me she’s much more ancient and powerful than that), she does not give half a hump about what she has to do to ensnare Coraline. Destroy the supporting characters of her twisted creation? Done. Allow herself to be dismembered to ruin Coraline’s life in the normal world? Not even gonna bat an eyelash.

On a final, personal note, imagine eight year-old me, ignored by my parents, absorbed in the story and identifying with Coraline from the start. Imagine me finishing this bloodcurdling book and immediately thinking of my basement, where there is still a locked door that my grandmother swears up and down is nothing more than a storage room, but has not once in my (or my mother’s) lifetime unlocked.

Can you see why this book still scares me?

Fun fact I learned from seeing neil gaiman speak: when he first wanted the book published, his editor said it was too scary. He suggested she read it to her young daughter, and then decide. So she did, and her daughter wasn’t afraid, and it was published. Years later, Gaiman was sitting next to that daughter at an event and told her this story, and she said “oh I was terrified I just didn’t want to tell my mom”.

Coraline WAS too scary to be published, but exists anyway because a girl lied to her mother.

image

@neil-gaiman, is this true about the publisher’s daughter?

It was my literary agent, Merrilee Heifetz who read it and said “you can’t seriously expect this to be published as a children’s book.” So I suggested she read it to her daughters. And she called me back a week later and said “They love it and they weren’t scared at all. I’ll take it to Harper Children’s.”

A decade later, at the Opening Night of the Coraline musical, I was sitting next to Morgan, Merilee’s youngest daughter, and told her how her not being scared had made the book happen. And she said “I was terrified. But I needed to find out what happened next. So nobody knew.”

So, yes.

This website can be toxic at times, but the fact that people can just tag Neil Gaiman to get his input, like a sorcerer invoking a benevolent spirit, is definitely a bright spot.

lawlu:

i just wanted you guys to know theres a porn parody of the force awakens and just when this storm trooper dude starts feeling this bitch up, kylo came in and started doing his usual tantrum shit in the background unprovoked, meanwhile oblivious to all thats happening and let me tell you no porn has ever cut me so off guard and brought me to tears in .01 seconds until now